BIG NEWS in the Rodkast world, Jossier Morales aka “Da Movie”, aka “Billy”, aka “the Herndon Hurter”, aka the guy who people ask Angel “He’s just your half-brother, right?” got a tattoo that says, in big black gang graffiti/I have no taste style letters, “Da Movie” directly above his penis. Not a joke. Joss’ went to a tattoo shop, or more realistically paid a Somalian friend to come over and tattoo the words “Da Movie” on his pelvis.
Why would he do this a lot of people will wonder? Maybe the pressure of being the black sheep in a family where the “successful sibling” hasn’t had a job in two years finally got to him. It’s not clear. When I asked him why he did it he said “To let these chicken heads know.”
To understand why he’s like this, you have to get into the mind of Da Movie. He gave himself this nickname (always a cool thing to do) when he decided his life was “like a movie.” If you think about it, Da Movie’s life is kind of like the Netflix film Roma in that he’s poor, and his parents don’t speak English.
Da Movie talks a big game, but his confidence in real life is kind of like my biological father, in that I’ve never seen it in person. The tattoo maybe is an attempt at masking his low self-esteem. Maybe he’s thinking that “If I get a tattoo that says Da Movie, maybe my life will be like a movie!” and not like it is now where I have a torn ACL and pee in a Clorox bottle.
Da Movie recently tore his ACL training to fight someone at LA Boxing. Literally one of the saddest sentences I’ve ever wrote. He’s always wanted to be a boxer, and this may very well be part of the motivation to get the tattoo. A lot of boxers get wild tattoos. Mike Tyson famously got a tattoo on his face, but Mike Tyson was a retired millionaire at that the time, and Da Movie works at Da Airport moving Da Bags.
Da Movie wants to be a boxer so badly that one time him and Angel built a wooden boxing ring in their parents backyard so he could fight other people that didn’t graduate from high school. That’s right I said a wooden ring. I went to one of those fights where he was up against a guy named “Gingerbread,” who was about 5’1. Towards the end of the 1st round, swear to god I saw Da Movie go over to his corner, chug an Orange Rockstar, then make out with his girlfriend. To this day one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen ‘til he sent me a pic of his new tattoo.
That being said. I love Da Movie, and continue to root for him, even when he makes terrible decisions like this. I always enjoy seeing him when he rolls up 2-3 hours late, wearing a Denver Nuggets track suit, immediately insulting me for being fat. He’s the most confident person with low-self esteem I’ve ever met. Even when’s he insulting you, he can’t make eye contact. He’s fun to have around though if only because his perception is so off. He thinks we are both famous now, and he used to think Blue Shorts was a celebrity because of that music video we made years ago that 300 people saw.
I guess if I’m being completely honest, I’m kind of split on this new development. The part of me that wants a better life for him thinks this was a terrible idea. The other part of me (pictured below) is very impressed with the new ink.