The Fatuity of Facebook

Let’s get one thing out of the way.

Yes, I found the word “fatuity” on Google and used it because I want it to make people think I am smart even at the expense of more clicks on the post with a better/easier to understand title. I have no clue what it means and I am hoping I am using it in the right context.

Now on to the post:

Remember when the worst part of Facebook was someone literally posting their each and every move, what they’re eating for a snack, and trying to scoop everyone on week old news? I long for those days. People of course still do those annoying posts, and you can occasionally find a dose of good feelings on there, but Facebook is a disaster and it ain’t getting any better.

This election season has brought the absolute worst out of people. Everyone is so angry. I can’t even count the numerous uncomfortable back and forth conversations I’ve stumbled upon between two people I went to school with pulling out every single article to argue their point to back up their candidate. If you are 73 comments deep with another person about your views, what is really the point? You aren’t changing each other’s mind. You aren’t changing ANYONE’s mind!

It’s silly to me that anyone would base who they vote for off of a celebrity endorser, but I get it when Snoop Dogg and Lou Ferrigno stump for their respective candidate. Some dummy is going to pick their candidate simply because the automatic pelvic thrusts they made when “Sensual Seduction” came on Pandora or the nerdgasm of emotion when Lou makes a cameo on “I Love You, Man” on Cinemax at 2am. But if you are a regular Joe like me working a 9-5 screaming about your views on Facebook, what are you really trying to accomplish? You aren’t changing a single person’s mind and you’re making people angry.

Is it really about your views or all about you getting attention?

Also, why are we going “Live” so much? If you aren’t hip to the game, Facebook released a feature back in December of 2015 where you can live-stream videos to the public. Once the video is over, you can put it on your timeline. The video always starts with “What’s up, everyone?” or “Hey, y’all!” Except there is no everyone and there is no y’all. It is one ex-spouse going in and out the chatroom because they aren’t sure if the person streaming can see who is exactly in the chatroom and don’t want them to know they are watching. At least that’s what I’ve heard is what happens.

In theory, Facebook Live is a great feature if you have an audience. It’s another way to interact with your community, fans, friends, etc. The problem is I never see anyone that actually has an audience go live. It’s always a narcissist who has no sense of who really cares about what they are saying talking to their “audience” like they are the latest Youtube sensation. I have nothing against you streaming, as I clearly need attention myself, but at least have the self-awareness and humility to know that you’re going to get the same amount of feedback as speaking to a group of cacti in the Mojave Desert.

Speaking of the desert, just because your marriage dried up, your husband cheated on you, and you’re now divorced with kids does not mean Facebook should become a platform for you to completely obliterate your ex. We know that you want everyone to know about what they did, but no one wants to know about your relationship. The people that are liking your posts aren’t there to sympathize with you. They’re eating popcorn turning your unfortunate situation into their own personal reality show to keep up with.

Kids got it easy these days in many aspects, but they get the raw end of the deal when it comes to this. Just imagine the worst argument your divorced parents ever had, but Mom and Pop have a Facebook account and a healthy dose of selfishness, rage, vengeance, and stupidity. They also are equipped with an endless plethora of “Inspirational” memes that are really innuendos as to the reasons your parents hate each other. Imagine they were able to broadcast these memes and go into specific detail about how the other parent is awful. Now imagine this all happened when you were 10, but you are now 15 with your own account. Now you and all of your family and friends can relive all this awfulness, because even if your parents came to their senses and deleted the posts, EVERYONE knows they happened.

Now excuse me as I get on Facebook and get back to posting pictures of my kids to get some sympathy likes to justify my existence.

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